Saturday, June 29, 2013

When friendship goes sour

Aria: Mom?
Me: Yeah, Babes?
Aria: The zombies that live in your room.  They used to be my friends when I was a baby...and then they died.
Me: 0_o

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Star Wars AJ-isms

AJ likes Star Wars just a little.

She insisted on being blind-folded to practice her lightsaber skills.
Just a touch distracting
So one day I was sitting on the bed trying to write my 3rd paper on quality improvement and behavioral health care. AJ was standing on the bed, naked, and swinging her lightsaber around. Apparently, Luke made some targets shaped like the Emperor and Darth Vader so AJ could practice using the force. By the way, a naked not quite 5 year old swinging around a light saber is a little distracting

Its for you, not me, I swear
As I carry her half asleep into the living room...
AJ: Mommy, you know Chewbacca...he's a different animal.
Me: A different animal from what?
AJ: (opens one eye) Well you know we could watch Star Wars so you could find out.
Favorite animal
AJ: That's my favorite animal. Giraffes, elephants...wookies.
Yep, those are my favorites.

Star Wars/Thomas Mash-up
According to AJ, Thomas the tank engine is very sad because Toby has gone to the Dark Side.

How much melon do you have?

A little gem from 2012.
AJ: I wonder how much melon I have?
Me: What? We don't have melon.
AJ: Yes we do!
Me: No we don't. We have some applesauce.
AJ: Not to EAT, the melon in my skin that helps it change colors.
Me: Wait. Are you taking about melanin? Because if you are, you don't have a lot, that's why your skin is so pale.
AJ: MAN. I wish I had a lot. My skin is boring. I wish it could change like a chameleon.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Pickle nightmare

A goodie from the past...

When Aria was 4, maybe 5, she woke up from a nightmare one night. Apparently the world was overrun by alien pickles that could turn people into pickles by touching them. She was telling me how she was saving a little girl from an alien pickle and then she mumbled something about vinegar baths. When I asked her what the heck the vinegar baths had to do with it all, she looked at me like I was silly and said, "Mom, that's how the alien pickles clean themselves." Then she drifted off to sleep murmuring, "I guess I'm the savior of the world."

A collection of AJ-isms: 2012

Okay, I'm attempting to cull my Facebook statuses for AJ-ism gems.  This is going to be an on-going process so I'm doing them in chunks.  First up, 2012.

I Love You, Too
AJ: Momma, you're so special to me. I hope you don't die ever...
unless I'm about to die.

Hmm... 0_o

Spelling Fun
AJ: Mom? How do you spell "Moooooo?!"
Me: starts with an "m"
AJ: No mom you mean "m"
Me: That's what I said. "m"
AJ: No "m" Mommy.
Me: I know. I didn't say "n" I said "mmmmmmmm"
AJ: No...Mom, it's "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
Me: AJ. Just sound it out yourself.
AJ: Mom? How do you spell "Moooooo?"
*head to hand + big sigh*

Speaking Korean
AJ: op-ee-a-sey-o
Me: what?
AJ: It means open this please?
Me: In what language?
AJ: oh...Korean.
Me: I don't think that's right but Ju-sey-o means give me please.
AJ: No...that means "the juice is on sale."

Waking up Aria
AJ: Grooooowwwwwl.
Me: Oh dear, its a dinosaur. I hope she doesn't eat me.
AJ: (looks at me like I'm an idiot) I'm a Triceratops. I eat plants.

Make Them Smaller, Please
One day, Phil was helping AJ set up her Avatar on Xbox. There aren't a whole lot of options, but anyhow, he did the best he could. She requested purple lips and a heart on her cheek. After he was all done setting it up, AJ stared at it intently, looked down at her chest and said..."Hey, I don't have boobs! Can you make those smaller?"

It's an Acquired Taste  
AJ: Do people eat horse?
Me: Well...yes, in some countries but not here in the US. Why?
AJ: Because Dega just got me several boxes of sheep and horse.

"Wad" a lovely present

Looking at my sweet child's tangled mess of hair this morning, I'm reminded of an incident that happened a few weeks back.  So first, let me say that yes, we need to brush Aria's hair more often.  I am really bad at it because, to be honest, I never brush my hair. I run my fingers through my hair daily to get the tangles out but for years I didn't even own a brush.  
Anyhow, this particular week she was developing some pretty serious tangles in the back of her head.  I went to pick her up from school and she excitedly pulled me into her classroom to hand me a neatly packaged...wad of hair. 
Apparently, she pulled out one of her tangled dreads and decided that she should save it...because it's special.  I wish I had been there when she convinced her teachers to wrap the wad of hair all nice and pretty.  

Zombie Play

I asked Aria to grab something from mommy and daddy's room.
Aria: Noooo...its scary.
Me: What? Why?
Aria: Because Zombies come out when we're not in there and play.
Me: Oh. What do they play?
Aria: Tag and bite the monster.
Me: o_O
Well except for Fred the Dead.  Apparently he was born to be nice.  

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Odd Human Tricks

You know, when Aria does stuff like this, I'm not sure if I should discipline or applaud her.  Seriously.  I mean, it takes some talent to eat with your feet. 

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

An invisible book of birds

Grandma Shellie somehow wound up with a birdbath.  When she told Aria that they were going to paint it, apparently Aria told her that according to her invisible book of birds they had to paint it pink and purple.  Why?  Because it would put a smile on their beaks.

The birdbath was painted pink and purple by one very satisfied little girl.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

The Infamous Journal

Okay.  So the story goes like this.  One day, I went to pick up Aria from school.  She was at the playground so I busied myself packing up her stuff.  The lead teacher brought up Aria's journal.  Okay, she specifically told me that Aria has a flair for the macabre.

Alright.  Nothing too surprising.

Except that apparently, some of her stories had the other teacher a wee worried.  The lead teacher told me this while laughing, saying that the other teacher wanted to know if this was something that they should bring up with Aria's parents.

Anyhow, today at Aria's preschool graduation, we received the infamous journal.

Story 1: Feb. 5, 2013
This is apparently the carnage left over after I feasted on monsters. 
This is a story about a lot of monsters that come to my house.  They try to eat me.  My mommy protects me by eating the monsters.  She loves the meat of them.  One monster is still alive when Mommy ate it.  But the monster was magic and disappeared out! The monster disappeared away!

Story 2: Feb. 21, 2013
Meet ghost.  He likes to collect dead things and make art out of them.
This is a ghost. The ghost creeped into a creepy house.  The ghost found a skeleton that was dead and he grabbed it and he brought it home.  At home, he did art with it and he went to bed but he couldn't go to sleep so he went away.  And he found an old house and it was so creepy and he found a little, little spider that was dead.  And then he grabbed it and he brought it home and he did art with it.  And he shivered his hands.

So I think its important to mention she was recognized today for her great storytelling skills.

Friday, June 14, 2013


AJ likes to use Google image search.  Yes, its potentially dangerous.  I've had to click off of the browser quickly because of an unsavory photo or two before.  Heh.  But she enjoys it and it helps her with spelling. 

The other day she typed these three letters into the search engine: R-D-S.  


Me: AJ, what is R-D-S?
AJ: Mom!  That's wrist!

Right.  Of course. Well...its close enough, eh.

Sunday, June 9, 2013


Aria put on her daddy's slippers.  And then her eyes lit up when she spotted one of his t-shirts.  

Aria: Mom, Mom, is this daddy's shirt?
Me: Uhm....yes. Why?
Aria: Because I have to put his clothes on and pretend to be him. When he gets out of the bathroom, he'll be all like, "woah, that's me."

She did it too.  Put his shirt, his hoodie, and slippers on and then waited patiently for him to leave the bathroom.  When he came out, she said in a deep voice, "Hello, my name is Phil!"

We all cracked up.  Good times.  Good times.  

Sunday, June 2, 2013


According to Aria's daddy, when he took her to the gas station she asked if she could buy candy with her allowance money.  She excitedly picked out a big bag of almond M&Ms and brought it to him.

Aria: Does this say sharing?
Daddy: Yes, why?
Aria: Good, because I'm going to share them with you.



Saturday, June 1, 2013

Macha Eggs

Bet you're wondering what Macha eggs are, eh?  Yeah, well they're the brown eggs.  Typically we buy white eggs; it is cheaper.  For some reason though I grabbed the brown eggs from the store.  AJ was amazed.  I tried to tell her that sometimes there are brown eggs, sometimes there are white eggs.  She stared at me.  She slowly shook her head.

AJ: Mom, those are Macha Eggs.
Me: What exactly is a Macha Egg?  You know...chickens...they just have brown eggs sometimes.
AJ: Well, yeah, Mom, of course.  The brown eggs are called Macha Eggs and they are from chickens.
Me: Okay, well then where do white eggs come from?
AJ: Oh those come from the eggplant.

Oh.  Well of course then.  That settles it.