When friendship goes sour

Aria: Mom?
Me: Yeah, Babes?
Aria: The zombies that live in your room.  They used to be my friends when I was a baby...and then they died.
Me: 0_o

Star Wars AJ-isms

AJ likes Star Wars just a little.

She insisted on being blind-folded to practice her lightsaber skills.

Just a touch distracting

So one day I was sitting on the bed trying to write my 3rd paper on quality improvement and behavioral health care. AJ was standing on the bed, naked, and swinging her lightsaber around. Apparently, Luke made some targets shaped like the Emperor and Darth Vader so AJ could practice using the force. By the way, a naked not quite 5 year old swinging around a light saber is a little distracting

Its for you, not me, I swear

As I carry her half asleep into the living room...

AJ: Mommy, you know Chewbacca...he's a different animal.

Me: A different animal from what?

AJ: (opens one eye) Well you know we could watch Star Wars so you could find out.

Favorite animal

AJ: That's my favorite animal. Giraffes, elephants...wookies.

Yep, those are my favorites.

Star Wars/Thomas Mash-up
According to AJ, Thomas the tank engine is very sad because Toby has gone to the Dark Side.

How much melon do you have?

A little gem from 2012.

AJ: I wonder how much melon I have?
Me: What? We don't have melon.
AJ: Yes we do!
Me: No we don't. We have some applesauce.
AJ: Not to EAT, the melon in my skin that helps it change colors.
Me: Wait. Are you taking about melanin? Because if you are, you don't have a lot, that's why your skin is so pale.
AJ: MAN. I wish I had a lot. My skin is boring. I wish it could change like a chameleon.

Pickle nightmare

A goodie from the past...

When Aria was 4, maybe 5, she woke up from a nightmare one night. Apparently the world was overrun by alien pickles that could turn people into pickles by touching them. She was telling me how she was saving a little girl from an alien pickle and then she mumbled something about vinegar baths. When I asked her what the heck the vinegar baths had to do with it all, she looked at me like I was silly and said, "Mom, that's how the alien pickles clean themselves." Then she drifted off to sleep murmuring, "I guess I'm the savior of the world."

A collection of AJ-isms: 2012

Okay, I'm attempting to cull my Facebook statuses for AJ-ism gems.  This is going to be an on-going process so I'm doing them in chunks.  First up, 2012.

I Love You, Too

AJ: Momma, you're so special to me. I hope you don't die ever...
unless I'm about to die.

Hmm... 0_o

Spelling Fun

AJ: Mom? How do you spell "Moooooo?!"

Me: Well...it starts with an "m"
AJ: No mom you mean "m"
Me: That's what I said. "m"
AJ: No "m" Mommy.
Me: I know. I didn't say "n" I said "mmmmmmmm"
AJ: No...Mom, it's "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
Me: AJ. Just sound it out yourself.
*pause*
AJ: Mom? How do you spell "Moooooo?"
*head to hand + big sigh* 

Speaking Korean

AJ: op-ee-a-sey-o

Me: what?

AJ: It means open this please?
Me: In what language?
AJ: oh...Korean.
Me: I don't think that's right but Ju-sey-o means give me please.
AJ: No...that means "the juice is on sale."

Waking up Aria
AJ: Grooooowwwwwl.
Me: Oh dear, its a dinosaur. I hope she doesn't eat me.
AJ: (looks at me like I'm an idiot) I'm a Triceratops. I eat plants.

Make Them Smaller, Please

One day, Phil was helping AJ set up her Avatar on Xbox. There aren't a whole lot of options, but anyhow, he did the best he could. She requested purple lips and a heart on her cheek. After he was all done setting it up, AJ stared at it intently, looked down at her chest and said..."Hey, I don't have boobs! Can you make those smaller?"

It's an Acquired Taste  

AJ: Do people eat horse?
Me: Well...yes, in some countries but not here in the US. Why?
AJ: Because Dega just got me several boxes of sheep and horse.

"Wad" a lovely present

Looking at my sweet child's tangled mess of hair this morning, I'm reminded of an incident that happened a few weeks back.  So first, let me say that yes, we need to brush Aria's hair more often.  I am really bad at it because, to be honest, I never brush my hair. I run my fingers through my hair daily to get the tangles out but for years I didn't even own a brush.  

Anyhow, this particular week she was developing some pretty serious tangles in the back of her head.  I went to pick her up from school and she excitedly pulled me into her classroom to hand me a neatly packaged...wad of hair. 

Apparently, she pulled out one of her tangled dreads and decided that she should save it...because it's special.  I wish I had been there when she convinced her teachers to wrap the wad of hair all nice and pretty.  

Zombie Play

I asked Aria to grab something from mommy and daddy's room.

Aria: Noooo...its scary.
Me: What? Why?
Aria: Because Zombies come out when we're not in there and play.
Me: Oh. What do they play?
Aria: Tag and bite the monster.
Me: o_O

Well except for Fred the Dead.  Apparently he was born to be nice.