Maps and the Force of Darkness

I picked up Aria from school yesterday and she excitedly showed me the map she had made at school.

So first, let me just say that we finally got a car and we took this fabulous family trip to Beacon Rock in Washington.  We had a blast and there was some talk about volcanoes and mountain climbing.  Aria was a little concerned that "Mountain Hood" or "Mountain St. Helens" would erupt and we had to repeatedly tell her that it was unlikely.

The view from Beacon Rock and my little hiker.  The elevation changes almost 800 feet in just a mile.  I was huffing and puffing it up the big rock but Aria didn't even seem phased by it.  Of course, I'm a wee bit out of shape but still.

So anyhow, I pick her up from school yesterday and she shows me this map.

Its a map to a pot of gold which is at the end of rainbow...of course.

The following conversation occurred.  True story.

Me: Wow. Is that the little splotch of yellow right there the gold?
Aria: Oh yeah...see, you can see the little rainbow.
Me: Yeah, yeah...I see that.  That's pretty cool.  What is the big black thing?
Aria: Oh oh, see that (pointing to the brown scribble on the left), that's the mud puddle.  Be careful, Mommy. And, and that (pointing to the tall red image next to the puddle) is a....VOLCANO!
Me: A volcano!?
Aria: Yes.  *whispering* Its Mountain St. Helens.
Me: Mt. St. Helens.
Aria: Mountain St. Helens.  And its ready to erupt.  Don't touch it.  Oh oh (pointing to the blue blob on the right) THIS is a lake...a nice, cool lake.
Me: Mmm...Uhm, what is the black thing?
Aria: That's the forces of darkness!
Me: The forces of darkness?
Aria:  Yes...Remember, Mr. Mallard?  He was turn-ed into a GOAT.  But I won't be turn-ed into a goat so do not worry.  But don't touch the gold, Mommy, because you might be turn-ed into a GOAT.

Ahhh...good times.  This map, Mr. Mallard, the forces of darkness...they are so brilliant.

*I should note that the little red splootch in the bottom left side of the forces of darkness is the "blood of animals" in case anybody is wondering.  Yeah...

Mr. Mallard

Aria has a small little rubber goat that she has named Mr. Mallard.  Mr. Mallard is a very special goat. He has four small children that he carried and birthed himself. 

The other day Aria was holding him and said in a shaky old goat voice, "80 years ago, I was a human until the forces of darkness turned me into a goat..."

See.  Mr. Mallard is a very special goat.  :)

When friendship goes sour

Aria: Mom?
Me: Yeah, Babes?
Aria: The zombies that live in your room.  They used to be my friends when I was a baby...and then they died.
Me: 0_o

Star Wars AJ-isms

AJ likes Star Wars just a little.

She insisted on being blind-folded to practice her lightsaber skills.

Just a touch distracting

So one day I was sitting on the bed trying to write my 3rd paper on quality improvement and behavioral health care. AJ was standing on the bed, naked, and swinging her lightsaber around. Apparently, Luke made some targets shaped like the Emperor and Darth Vader so AJ could practice using the force. By the way, a naked not quite 5 year old swinging around a light saber is a little distracting

Its for you, not me, I swear

As I carry her half asleep into the living room...

AJ: Mommy, you know Chewbacca...he's a different animal.

Me: A different animal from what?

AJ: (opens one eye) Well you know we could watch Star Wars so you could find out.

Favorite animal

AJ: That's my favorite animal. Giraffes, elephants...wookies.

Yep, those are my favorites.

Star Wars/Thomas Mash-up
According to AJ, Thomas the tank engine is very sad because Toby has gone to the Dark Side.

How much melon do you have?

A little gem from 2012.

AJ: I wonder how much melon I have?
Me: What? We don't have melon.
AJ: Yes we do!
Me: No we don't. We have some applesauce.
AJ: Not to EAT, the melon in my skin that helps it change colors.
Me: Wait. Are you taking about melanin? Because if you are, you don't have a lot, that's why your skin is so pale.
AJ: MAN. I wish I had a lot. My skin is boring. I wish it could change like a chameleon.

Pickle nightmare

A goodie from the past...

When Aria was 4, maybe 5, she woke up from a nightmare one night. Apparently the world was overrun by alien pickles that could turn people into pickles by touching them. She was telling me how she was saving a little girl from an alien pickle and then she mumbled something about vinegar baths. When I asked her what the heck the vinegar baths had to do with it all, she looked at me like I was silly and said, "Mom, that's how the alien pickles clean themselves." Then she drifted off to sleep murmuring, "I guess I'm the savior of the world."

A collection of AJ-isms: 2012

Okay, I'm attempting to cull my Facebook statuses for AJ-ism gems.  This is going to be an on-going process so I'm doing them in chunks.  First up, 2012.

I Love You, Too

AJ: Momma, you're so special to me. I hope you don't die ever...
unless I'm about to die.

Hmm... 0_o

Spelling Fun

AJ: Mom? How do you spell "Moooooo?!"

Me: Well...it starts with an "m"
AJ: No mom you mean "m"
Me: That's what I said. "m"
AJ: No "m" Mommy.
Me: I know. I didn't say "n" I said "mmmmmmmm"
AJ: No...Mom, it's "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
Me: AJ. Just sound it out yourself.
*pause*
AJ: Mom? How do you spell "Moooooo?"
*head to hand + big sigh* 

Speaking Korean

AJ: op-ee-a-sey-o

Me: what?

AJ: It means open this please?
Me: In what language?
AJ: oh...Korean.
Me: I don't think that's right but Ju-sey-o means give me please.
AJ: No...that means "the juice is on sale."

Waking up Aria
AJ: Grooooowwwwwl.
Me: Oh dear, its a dinosaur. I hope she doesn't eat me.
AJ: (looks at me like I'm an idiot) I'm a Triceratops. I eat plants.

Make Them Smaller, Please

One day, Phil was helping AJ set up her Avatar on Xbox. There aren't a whole lot of options, but anyhow, he did the best he could. She requested purple lips and a heart on her cheek. After he was all done setting it up, AJ stared at it intently, looked down at her chest and said..."Hey, I don't have boobs! Can you make those smaller?"

It's an Acquired Taste  

AJ: Do people eat horse?
Me: Well...yes, in some countries but not here in the US. Why?
AJ: Because Dega just got me several boxes of sheep and horse.