What do you believe in?

One day AJ and I were waiting at the bus stop when a Jehovah Witness approached us and asked if I wanted reading material for the bus.  I politely declined and she went on her way.

AJ: mom, what was she trying to give you?

Me: a magazine called the watchtower.

AJ: why?

Me: because she believes in god and wanted to share that with me but I don't believe in the same thing she does so I wasn't interested.
AJ: Well...what do you believe in?
Me:  Science.
AJ: But mom, science is real.

Touche.

Because she wants to

AJ insisted on going outside and sweeping the sidewalk with a sprig of pine needles.  I hear a group of neighbor kids approach her. They gather around her and ask what she is doing and why.  AJ tells them she is cleaning and because she wants to.

AJ is really shy around children she doesn't know and I kind of hold my breath, hoping that her very straightforward answer doesn't earn her a bit of teasing or some strange looks.  

A few minutes later, I peek out the window and one of the neighbor girls has joined her.  AJ skips back up the stairs with a huge smile on her face.

Apparently the girl promised to help her sweep the sidewalk next weekend. 

Oops!

So you know those "oops" signs outside of Petsmart?  One day we took AJ to Petsmart.  She had just learned to read so she read the sign.

I guess it made an impression on her because almost 8 months later here we are sitting and playing vet.  The hamster I've brought in to see Dr. AJ is sick and throwing up.  

I tell her I've been feeding the hamster 55 M&Ms a day.  She shakes her head and tells me...

"Oh dear, you shouldn't feed your hamster M&Ms, you should get her hamster food.  So you need to go to Pets...Pets...PetsOops to get the food."

PS: photo is not mine...I just needed a quick photo to explain where she got "oops" from.  

Not asleep!

We have a new deal.  AJ gets to stay up and read if she wants.  I no longer feign control over when she actually falls asleep.

However, there is a caveat.  I do have control over when she wakes up.  So she has been mighty tired these past few weeks.  The joy of staying up late and reading still far outweighs the morning grumpies.

Anyhow, today after I woke her up, she tucked the blanket around herself and closed her eyes.

Me: AJ?  Are you asleep? Wake up!!

AJ: *snort* Wha? No! I'm awake!! I was thinking....You know I think with my eyes closed.

Right.  

The tooth fairy

On the tooth fairy:

AJ lost her tooth last night and was super excited about the prospect of getting money.  She was super concerned about the fairy keeping her tooth though.  After I convinced her that the fairy only keeps the tooth because of tradition and that she actually had so many that she didn't want anymore and would be so happy to just leave her tooth...AJ happily set it in Fiano's (her imaginary fairy friend) house.

This morning she woke up and was so excited to find not only a glittery dollar bill but her tooth as well.

Then she came up to me with a suspicious look on her face.

AJ: mom, are you the tooth fairy?

Me: why are you asking? 

AJ: I recognize this glitter.

Me: what?! Uhm, well, maybe she borrowed my glitter.

AJ: mom.

Me: what do you want to believe?  

AJ: the truth.

Me: fine, it was me; there is no fairy but it's kind of fun pretending, right?  Just like we pretend all your imaginary friends are real.

AJ:  sure.

Me:  so can I still leave you money for your teeth?

AJ:  uh...yeah, mom.  

Haha.  Well good to know.  

When I'm 10

AJ has a bit of anxiety about growing up.  She tells me all the time that she wants to stay little forever. Sometimes she even gets so worked up, she starts weeping.  Of course, I try to reassure that she is going to be a little kid for a very long time, that things probably won't be all that much different, and for good measure I point out some of the good things about getting older.  She never really buys any of it and usually just gives me her skeptical look from behind tears.

So tonight, we're snuggling in bed.  Its our typical bedtime routine, has been for a while now, and I love it.

AJ: Mom, I'm worried.
Me: Why are you worried?
AJ: I'm worried that when I'm 10, I won't want to snuggle with you anymore.

So let's pause here, because I'd like to point out the absolute ridiculousness of having to explain to your child that if at say 10 years old she doesn't want to snuggle with you anymore, she won't exactly be upset about it. It'll just be her preference.

Me: Well you know, that might happen but maybe not and I don't think you're going to be upset about it either way.  Plus its like 5 years from now.
AJ: Right.  So, when I'm 10 and I decide I don't want to snuggle with you anymore, you need to force me.
Me: Hmm-mm...Wait?  What?
AJ: Yeah.  So like sneak into my room after I'm asleep and snuggle with me.  Okay Mom?
Me: Uhmm...well, that doesn't really seem...well...AJ, that sounds creepy.
AJ: Mom, just do it.  Okay, sneak into my room.

Again, I'd like to pause here and say that as I hemmed and hawed...tears were welling up in her little eyes.  I mean like real tears.

Me: AJ, if you need me to sneak snuggles from you when you're 10, of course I'll do it.  But also just because you're getting older, that doesn't mean you suddenly can't snuggle with me.
AJ: Mom...*giving me that look again*
Me: You bet, I'll sneak the snuggles.

And then she settled and let herself drift to sleep.  Well...sort of.

Marshmallows

We went camping.  Camping = smores.  I busted out the marshmallows, Hersey chocolate bar, and graham crackers and asked AJ if she would like one.

AJ announced she'd like hers with just chocolate; no marshmallow.  Her reasoning?  She's trying to cut out marshmallow.  The funny thing is she has been saying this for a few months now and she really has been turning down all offers of marshmallows since then.  She did eventually have one on our camping trip, but just one.  Apparently marshmallow is serious stuff and needs to be rationed out carefully.

A collection of AJ-isms - 2009 and 2010

Admittedly, 2009 is a bit sparse.  For one, AJ was only 1 years old and I think I was still suffering pretty badly from severe lack of sleep.  Well...I still am but I wasn't used to it then.  So, this collection combines 2009 and 2010.  Enjoy.

The things we do
AJ went through a phase when she was about one years old where she loved tearing off little bits of toilet paper and then stuffing them up her nose.  Never in a million years did I think I would ever have to dig out little wads of tissue from someone's nostrils.

There is nothing wrong with my glasses

Let them eat cake
For lunch AJ had a sandwich, some pretzels with hummus, and a pickle. She removed the bread from her sandwich and stuck all the pretzels in it and declared, "happy cake!" She ate the pickle and hummus.

Little Birdie
AJ has been making bird calls...only we have no idea what she thinks she's mimicking. She puts her hand to her mouth and calls out "who WHO" but the inflection is wrong for an owl.  Plus she adamantly tells you its not an owl.

If you give an AJ a banana...
If AJ asks for a banana, you must give her a banana unpeeled. If its peeled, she won't eat it. If the banana breaks while she is peeling it, she won't eat it.  I never imagined eating bananas could be so stressful.

Obviously
I am drawing with AJ. She tells me to draw an acorn and an "A." Then she asks me to draw an "R", and then an "icky." I ask her, "What is an icky?"  She tells me, "Poop. Draw a poop, Momma."

Rabbits
I went to wake AJ up. She was feeling cuddly, so we snuggled up.
Me: You're Momma's special little girl.
AJ:  *Stops cuddling and stares at me hard.* I NOT little girl, I a rabbit.  A special rabbit.
I stand corrected.

Wishful Thinking
Me: Go find a book. Its bedtime.
AJ: I read. You go to bed.

A collection of AJ-isms - 2011

All My Fingers
Me: Do you know how old you are?
AJ: Oh yes, I'm 3.
Me: How many fingers is that?
AJ: I have all my fingers. Thank you.

Care Bear Stare
Me: AJ, its time for bed. Get some books so we can read a bedtime story.
*AJ sticks her stomach out and stares at me intently.*
AJ: Care Bear Stare!
Ahem...yeah, it didn't work. But she gets points for effort and cuteness.

Here There Be Ducks
AJ was walking around the house dropping raisins on the floor. I asked her to please stop.
Her reply: "But Mooooooom, I'm feeding the ducks!" Oi.

Baby Chickens
Me: AJ, soon you'll meet your baby cousin when Aunt Lisa has her baby.
AJ: Hmm...my baby is in Aunt Lisa's womb?
Me: Yes. But soon he'll be born and he'll be on the outside.
AJ: Yes. And when I was in your womb.......I was a baby chicken. 

Robot Butts
Me: AJ, you should go the bathroom and try to go potty.
AJ: (in a robotic, stilted voice) No. I am a robot and I do not want to go potty.
Me: Well, the robot should use the potty.
AJ: No. I am a robot and I have a glass butt.

Be Calm
AJ: Mom. I am going to do something and I need you to not freak out.
Me: What? What are you going to do?
AJ: Uhm...something. Be calm.

Pesky Witches
AJ: I'm not AJ, I'm Max.
Me: Oh No...what happened?
AJ: There was a witch and she was angry and she turned me into Max. Now there are two Maxes and no AN.

Christmas AJ-isms
AJ insisted on having five stockings for the wall this Christmas. We went shopping and AJ came home with two small stockings: one each for her imaginary friends: Loogu and Dega.

Some folks really get into Christmas decorating.  We do a pretty lazy job at it.  AJ likes to remedy this by adding a little each day. I kept finding fabric scraps draped over the Christmas tree like garland. Oh AJ...she is so busy while Mommy isn't watching.

Star Wars AJ-isms

AJ likes Star Wars just a little.

She insisted on being blind-folded to practice her lightsaber skills.

Just a touch distracting

So one day I was sitting on the bed trying to write my 3rd paper on quality improvement and behavioral health care. AJ was standing on the bed, naked, and swinging her lightsaber around. Apparently, Luke made some targets shaped like the Emperor and Darth Vader so AJ could practice using the force. By the way, a naked not quite 5 year old swinging around a light saber is a little distracting

Its for you, not me, I swear

As I carry her half asleep into the living room...

AJ: Mommy, you know Chewbacca...he's a different animal.

Me: A different animal from what?

AJ: (opens one eye) Well you know we could watch Star Wars so you could find out.

Favorite animal

AJ: That's my favorite animal. Giraffes, elephants...wookies.

Yep, those are my favorites.

Star Wars/Thomas Mash-up
According to AJ, Thomas the tank engine is very sad because Toby has gone to the Dark Side.

How much melon do you have?

A little gem from 2012.

AJ: I wonder how much melon I have?
Me: What? We don't have melon.
AJ: Yes we do!
Me: No we don't. We have some applesauce.
AJ: Not to EAT, the melon in my skin that helps it change colors.
Me: Wait. Are you taking about melanin? Because if you are, you don't have a lot, that's why your skin is so pale.
AJ: MAN. I wish I had a lot. My skin is boring. I wish it could change like a chameleon.

A collection of AJ-isms: 2012

Okay, I'm attempting to cull my Facebook statuses for AJ-ism gems.  This is going to be an on-going process so I'm doing them in chunks.  First up, 2012.

I Love You, Too

AJ: Momma, you're so special to me. I hope you don't die ever...
unless I'm about to die.

Hmm... 0_o

Spelling Fun

AJ: Mom? How do you spell "Moooooo?!"

Me: Well...it starts with an "m"
AJ: No mom you mean "m"
Me: That's what I said. "m"
AJ: No "m" Mommy.
Me: I know. I didn't say "n" I said "mmmmmmmm"
AJ: No...Mom, it's "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
Me: AJ. Just sound it out yourself.
*pause*
AJ: Mom? How do you spell "Moooooo?"
*head to hand + big sigh* 

Speaking Korean

AJ: op-ee-a-sey-o

Me: what?

AJ: It means open this please?
Me: In what language?
AJ: oh...Korean.
Me: I don't think that's right but Ju-sey-o means give me please.
AJ: No...that means "the juice is on sale."

Waking up Aria
AJ: Grooooowwwwwl.
Me: Oh dear, its a dinosaur. I hope she doesn't eat me.
AJ: (looks at me like I'm an idiot) I'm a Triceratops. I eat plants.

Make Them Smaller, Please

One day, Phil was helping AJ set up her Avatar on Xbox. There aren't a whole lot of options, but anyhow, he did the best he could. She requested purple lips and a heart on her cheek. After he was all done setting it up, AJ stared at it intently, looked down at her chest and said..."Hey, I don't have boobs! Can you make those smaller?"

It's an Acquired Taste  

AJ: Do people eat horse?
Me: Well...yes, in some countries but not here in the US. Why?
AJ: Because Dega just got me several boxes of sheep and horse.

R-D-S

AJ likes to use Google image search.  Yes, its potentially dangerous.  I've had to click off of the browser quickly because of an unsavory photo or two before.  Heh.  But she enjoys it and it helps her with spelling. 

The other day she typed these three letters into the search engine: R-D-S.  

Hmm...okay.

Me: AJ, what is R-D-S?
AJ: Mom!  That's wrist!

Right.  Of course. Well...its close enough, eh.

Tree Wool

"Mom, LOOK!  It's tree wool!"  

Macha Eggs

Bet you're wondering what Macha eggs are, eh?  Yeah, well they're the brown eggs.  Typically we buy white eggs; it is cheaper.  For some reason though I grabbed the brown eggs from the store.  AJ was amazed.  I tried to tell her that sometimes there are brown eggs, sometimes there are white eggs.  She stared at me.  She slowly shook her head.

AJ: Mom, those are Macha Eggs.
Me: What exactly is a Macha Egg?  You know...chickens...they just have brown eggs sometimes.
AJ: Well, yeah, Mom, of course.  The brown eggs are called Macha Eggs and they are from chickens.
Me: Okay, well then where do white eggs come from?
AJ: Oh those come from the eggplant.

Oh.  Well of course then.  That settles it.

2+2+2=3

The following is just a snapshot of AJ logic.

AJ: Mom, does 2 + 2 + 2 = 3?
Me: No, 2 + 2 + 2 = 6 because you have 3 pairs of twos.
AJ: No, it equals 3 because the other twos are silent. 
Me: What? O_o

The really odd thing is that it almost makes sense.