The Talk

Its been awhile since I last updated this blog.  I find it kind of hilarious that I'd come back with THIS story, but well this is a story a parent should never forget.

So yesterday afternoon, AJ told me she didn't understand how babies got into a woman's womb. I read somewhere that you should answer the question actually asked and not assume bigger questions, so I simply told her that the man puts a seed in the woman which fertilizes her egg.  She said okay so I thought I was good.

Yeah...I was wrong.  Oh so wrong.

Tonight after asking me a string of mundane questions in an attempt to stall bedtime, she sprung the BIG question on me.

AJ: So uhm...Mom, I don't understand. How does the man get the seed into the woman?
Me: *Thinking to myself...oh shit.* Well, what do you mean?
AJ: I don't understand! How does it get in the woman?
Me: Okay, so uhm...they do this uhm...adult activity *crap, crap, crap* that uhm...puts the seed there. Time for bed!
AJ: What activity?
Me: *Shiiiitt...* Well, honey, its called sex. And its for adults.  And well...that's how the sperm, uhmm...so that's what the seed is actually called, so that's how the sperm gets in the woman.
AJ: *Raises her eyebrow at me.* Uh-huh, HOW does it get in the woman?
Me: *Sigh* Fine.  So you know what a penis is, right?
AJ: Yuh-aaaa...its what a man pees through!
Me: Right.  So sperm comes out of there too. And the man putshispenisintothewoman'svagina and that's how the sperm gets there.
AJ: *making a face* Ewwww...
Me: Well, yeah, I can see why a five year old might think that sounds gross.  Okay, time for bed, pleeease...
AJ: So, how does this happen through the clothes?
Me: They're aren't usually wearing clothes or at least not much.
AJ: Okay, I still don't understand.
Me: What do you mean?  What don't you understand?  *Go to sleep, go to sleep, please, go to sleep...*
AJ: How does the penis get into the vagina?
Me: *Seriously, do I have to draw a diagram!!* Well, AJ, I'm not sure I get the question, he just puts it in...
AJ: But MOM, the penis...its WOBBLY!
[At this point, I lost it.  I started cracking up.  AJ joined me and we had a full on belly laughing session while I gasped for air.]
Me: Uhm...so sex.  Yeah, its not just for making babies.  Which is why some folks use protection to make sure they don't get pregnant or get someone pregnant.  So, when the man is excited, his penis isn't wobbly.  It's hard uhm...like a stick.  *crap, did I just really say that?*
AJ: Like a stick?!  *squeals of laughter* So you and dad did this?
Me: *of course, you'd ask me THAT.* Yes.
AJ: *holding up her hand and pointing the finger of her other hand at it* I bet that's how puppies are made too.
Me: Yup.
AJ: *whispering* You know, I might have sex when I'm older.
Me: Yup, I am sure you will.
AJ: With a man?
Me: Well, uhm, I don't know.  Maybe, maybe not.  So the sex I was talking about was between a man and woman, but that's because you asked me about how babies are made.  A woman and woman can have sex. So can a man and man.  They just can't make a baby.  I mean they can have a baby, you know, they can adopt or if its women they can have the doctor help them put sperm into one of the women and if its men they can ask a woman to carry the baby for them.  Does that make sense?
AJ: Yeah, you know, I might not want to have a baby.
Me: That's okay.  You don't have to have one.  Uhm...can we please go to bed?  Have I answered your questions?
AJ: Well...
Me: You can always ask me questions tomorrow or another day if you want.  But its late, AJ. I'm tired. Oh and uhm...you know I think its great that you felt safe enough to ask me these questions but you probably shouldn't talk to your friends about it.  You know, I'm sure their parents would like to be the first person they talk to about it and all.

So yeah...that was my first foray into talking about sex with AJ. Hopefully, I didn't do too badly.  I mean, she laughed and didn't seem scarred. That's something, right? Right?

Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble

I'm not sure where this came from but suddenly AJ is extremely interested in witches. She had me cut her hair the other day according to her specifications.   Apparently the new do is her new witch hairstyle.

She also wants a broom like something fierce.  I actually did get her one from the Spring Creek Store in the Portland Waldorf School, but I forgot it in Cady's car so it'll have to be a later surprise.  I was feeling really chatty when I bought it too.  The conversation went something like:

Checkout Lady: These are great brooms. I have one at home.
Me: hhhm-mmm... This isn't for me.  Its for my 5 year old daughter.  She's a witch.
Checkout Lady: Oh...  Is she at least a nice one?
Me: Ahh...I think so. She's the kind that celebrates nature or something like that.

Tonight getting ready for bed, AJ got a glimpse of the moon.  There was a full moon just two nights ago so it's just beginning to wane.  She was drawn to its beauty.  She also believed she could see some other planet out there.  It was just the reflection of the moon on her window and I tried to tell her that, but...

AJ: nope. It's another planet.  *in a hushed voice*  I really am magical, I'm a witch.  

So yep.  AJ has decided she's a witch.  

Just another student

Grandma Shellie is on a much needed vacation in Florida, which means that she obviously can't watch AJ while I teach.  Tuesday Cady watched her since I had a professional meeting afterwards but today I had her accompany me to class.

Just as I started class, AJ made it known that she wanted to sit with the students.  Today we mostly talked about their final project, so I started out by handing out a paper with a description of it.  I checked in to make sure everyone had one. 

AJ: (in a little voice) mommy?  

Me:  you want one too, don't you? 

Class:  awwwwww...,

The students start working on a free write about the assignment; AJ starts working on underlining words and drawing little pictures on the assignment description paper I handed her.

After 10 minutes I ask them to stop and work in groups of 2 or 3 to talk about the challenges they had thinking about what to write and questions they had about the assignment or expectations. 

AJ:  momma, I'm going to go around.

Me: you mean walk around?  Okay but don't disturb the students.

AJ:  no, around. (As she goes around the table and plants herself in an empty seat between two students.)

Me: oh!   Are you wanting to work in a group too?

At this point, the students are nodding encouragingly as they make room for her paper and introduce themselves to her.  I think if I had protested I would have been out voted so I just nodded my head and checked up on them to make sure they were making progress.  

I overhear at one point.

AJ:  I didn't even read the paper (giggle, giggle).  I just started working on it. 

Nice, AJ.  Way to demonstrate good student habits.  Heh. 

We came back as a class to talk about the assignment and I clarified any questions they had.  At some point I started drawing examples of what their personal models of leadership might look like.  AJ came up to the board and drew her own models and proudly announced the fact to the entire class which elicited more "awws" from the class.  

When class was over most of the students made sure to say goodbye to their new little peer who was feeling on top of the world by this point.  

Frankly the entire experience was flipping adorable.  Although I fear it has given AJ ammunition for her argument that she should be allowed to come to every class.  Heh.  

Warrior hamsters

Frosting Cup and Butter Cup of the infamous warrior hamster family take down a tiger. Butter uses the element of braveness and Frosting uses the element of calmness.

Please note that no tigers were hurt in the making of this photo.  Mrs. Halika, the tiger, is actually a good friend of the Cups.  The photo was staged to illustrate the fierce siblings fighting technique and skills.  Mrs. Halika in fact normally accompanies the Cup siblings on their fighting excursions, where she helps remove the eyes and noses of their enemies.  

No word yet on what the Cup family does with all those eyes and noses.

Snake girl

Out of nowhere today AJ announced she wants a snake skin dress.

Ohhhh...kay.  Oh, oh, oh...but that's not all.  Nope.  I get to make this snake skin dress. 

She set out her paper and markers to design it.  When she was done, it was no longer just a snake skin dress, but a whole outfit complete with snake skin pants and mask.  So apparently, after I am done making her Zita the Spacegirl and Kiki (from Kiki's Delivery Service) costumes, I need to add this to the queue.  I can only imagine what this snake skin costume is going to cost me.

Oh and that red thing that is sticking out of the side of her head?  That's a snake tongue.  

Anti-Columbus Day

AJ drew this sign to let everyone know that Columbus is not on her good guy list and she won't be celebrating him.  Uncanny resemblance, eh?

When I'm 10

AJ has a bit of anxiety about growing up.  She tells me all the time that she wants to stay little forever. Sometimes she even gets so worked up, she starts weeping.  Of course, I try to reassure that she is going to be a little kid for a very long time, that things probably won't be all that much different, and for good measure I point out some of the good things about getting older.  She never really buys any of it and usually just gives me her skeptical look from behind tears.

So tonight, we're snuggling in bed.  Its our typical bedtime routine, has been for a while now, and I love it.

AJ: Mom, I'm worried.
Me: Why are you worried?
AJ: I'm worried that when I'm 10, I won't want to snuggle with you anymore.

So let's pause here, because I'd like to point out the absolute ridiculousness of having to explain to your child that if at say 10 years old she doesn't want to snuggle with you anymore, she won't exactly be upset about it. It'll just be her preference.

Me: Well you know, that might happen but maybe not and I don't think you're going to be upset about it either way.  Plus its like 5 years from now.
AJ: Right.  So, when I'm 10 and I decide I don't want to snuggle with you anymore, you need to force me.
Me: Hmm-mm...Wait?  What?
AJ: Yeah.  So like sneak into my room after I'm asleep and snuggle with me.  Okay Mom?
Me: Uhmm...well, that doesn't really seem...well...AJ, that sounds creepy.
AJ: Mom, just do it.  Okay, sneak into my room.

Again, I'd like to pause here and say that as I hemmed and hawed...tears were welling up in her little eyes.  I mean like real tears.

Me: AJ, if you need me to sneak snuggles from you when you're 10, of course I'll do it.  But also just because you're getting older, that doesn't mean you suddenly can't snuggle with me.
AJ: Mom...*giving me that look again*
Me: You bet, I'll sneak the snuggles.

And then she settled and let herself drift to sleep.  Well...sort of.