Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble

I'm not sure where this came from but suddenly AJ is extremely interested in witches. She had me cut her hair the other day according to her specifications.   Apparently the new do is her new witch hairstyle.

She also wants a broom like something fierce.  I actually did get her one from the Spring Creek Store in the Portland Waldorf School, but I forgot it in Cady's car so it'll have to be a later surprise.  I was feeling really chatty when I bought it too.  The conversation went something like:

Checkout Lady: These are great brooms. I have one at home.
Me: hhhm-mmm... This isn't for me.  Its for my 5 year old daughter.  She's a witch.
Checkout Lady: Oh...  Is she at least a nice one?
Me: Ahh...I think so. She's the kind that celebrates nature or something like that.

Tonight getting ready for bed, AJ got a glimpse of the moon.  There was a full moon just two nights ago so it's just beginning to wane.  She was drawn to its beauty.  She also believed she could see some other planet out there.  It was just the reflection of the moon on her window and I tried to tell her that, but...

AJ: nope. It's another planet.  *in a hushed voice*  I really am magical, I'm a witch.  

So yep.  AJ has decided she's a witch.  

Just another student

Grandma Shellie is on a much needed vacation in Florida, which means that she obviously can't watch AJ while I teach.  Tuesday Cady watched her since I had a professional meeting afterwards but today I had her accompany me to class.

Just as I started class, AJ made it known that she wanted to sit with the students.  Today we mostly talked about their final project, so I started out by handing out a paper with a description of it.  I checked in to make sure everyone had one. 

AJ: (in a little voice) mommy?  

Me:  you want one too, don't you? 

Class:  awwwwww...,

The students start working on a free write about the assignment; AJ starts working on underlining words and drawing little pictures on the assignment description paper I handed her.

After 10 minutes I ask them to stop and work in groups of 2 or 3 to talk about the challenges they had thinking about what to write and questions they had about the assignment or expectations. 

AJ:  momma, I'm going to go around.

Me: you mean walk around?  Okay but don't disturb the students.

AJ:  no, around. (As she goes around the table and plants herself in an empty seat between two students.)

Me: oh!   Are you wanting to work in a group too?

At this point, the students are nodding encouragingly as they make room for her paper and introduce themselves to her.  I think if I had protested I would have been out voted so I just nodded my head and checked up on them to make sure they were making progress.  

I overhear at one point.

AJ:  I didn't even read the paper (giggle, giggle).  I just started working on it. 

Nice, AJ.  Way to demonstrate good student habits.  Heh. 

We came back as a class to talk about the assignment and I clarified any questions they had.  At some point I started drawing examples of what their personal models of leadership might look like.  AJ came up to the board and drew her own models and proudly announced the fact to the entire class which elicited more "awws" from the class.  

When class was over most of the students made sure to say goodbye to their new little peer who was feeling on top of the world by this point.  

Frankly the entire experience was flipping adorable.  Although I fear it has given AJ ammunition for her argument that she should be allowed to come to every class.  Heh.  

Warrior hamsters

Frosting Cup and Butter Cup of the infamous warrior hamster family take down a tiger. Butter uses the element of braveness and Frosting uses the element of calmness.

Please note that no tigers were hurt in the making of this photo.  Mrs. Halika, the tiger, is actually a good friend of the Cups.  The photo was staged to illustrate the fierce siblings fighting technique and skills.  Mrs. Halika in fact normally accompanies the Cup siblings on their fighting excursions, where she helps remove the eyes and noses of their enemies.  

No word yet on what the Cup family does with all those eyes and noses.

Snake girl

Out of nowhere today AJ announced she wants a snake skin dress.

Ohhhh...kay.  Oh, oh, oh...but that's not all.  Nope.  I get to make this snake skin dress. 

She set out her paper and markers to design it.  When she was done, it was no longer just a snake skin dress, but a whole outfit complete with snake skin pants and mask.  So apparently, after I am done making her Zita the Spacegirl and Kiki (from Kiki's Delivery Service) costumes, I need to add this to the queue.  I can only imagine what this snake skin costume is going to cost me.

Oh and that red thing that is sticking out of the side of her head?  That's a snake tongue.  

Anti-Columbus Day

AJ drew this sign to let everyone know that Columbus is not on her good guy list and she won't be celebrating him.  Uncanny resemblance, eh?

When I'm 10

AJ has a bit of anxiety about growing up.  She tells me all the time that she wants to stay little forever. Sometimes she even gets so worked up, she starts weeping.  Of course, I try to reassure that she is going to be a little kid for a very long time, that things probably won't be all that much different, and for good measure I point out some of the good things about getting older.  She never really buys any of it and usually just gives me her skeptical look from behind tears.

So tonight, we're snuggling in bed.  Its our typical bedtime routine, has been for a while now, and I love it.

AJ: Mom, I'm worried.
Me: Why are you worried?
AJ: I'm worried that when I'm 10, I won't want to snuggle with you anymore.

So let's pause here, because I'd like to point out the absolute ridiculousness of having to explain to your child that if at say 10 years old she doesn't want to snuggle with you anymore, she won't exactly be upset about it. It'll just be her preference.

Me: Well you know, that might happen but maybe not and I don't think you're going to be upset about it either way.  Plus its like 5 years from now.
AJ: Right.  So, when I'm 10 and I decide I don't want to snuggle with you anymore, you need to force me.
Me: Hmm-mm...Wait?  What?
AJ: Yeah.  So like sneak into my room after I'm asleep and snuggle with me.  Okay Mom?
Me: Uhmm...well, that doesn't really seem...well...AJ, that sounds creepy.
AJ: Mom, just do it.  Okay, sneak into my room.

Again, I'd like to pause here and say that as I hemmed and hawed...tears were welling up in her little eyes.  I mean like real tears.

Me: AJ, if you need me to sneak snuggles from you when you're 10, of course I'll do it.  But also just because you're getting older, that doesn't mean you suddenly can't snuggle with me.
AJ: Mom...*giving me that look again*
Me: You bet, I'll sneak the snuggles.

And then she settled and let herself drift to sleep.  Well...sort of.

Don't mind me

The other day, Aria came up to me with a Lego sword.

AJ: Momma, I need to cut you.  Okay?

Me: What?  Why do you need to cut me?

AJ: Mom.  I need to cut you with this.  It'll be okay.  I just need to collect your blood.  

*she holds up a small green balloon that has not been blown up yet and points to it*

Me: Why do you need my blood?

AJ: Mom.  I just do.  I'm collecting blood from all different animals.  Elephant, Monkey...

So...I'm not sure if I should be bothered by the fact that she wanted to cut me with a Lego sword, that she wanted to harvest my blood in a small balloon, or that she lumped me with elephants and monkeys. 

Rose City Comic Con 2013

Say hello to the second place winner in the 14 and under costume contest at the Rose City Comic Con!  :)

AJ went as Wasp from the Avengers.  She insisted on cutting her hair for authenticity.

The highlight of the entire convention had to be when Christopher Yost, the head writer for The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes asked me to take a photo of them together on his phone.  He told AJ he wrote the cartoon and that his favorite was Wasp.  AJ felt like a million bucks.  Yost has earned himself some lifelong fans in this household.

Caught on Video

THIS is what AJ does pretty much every day and she doesn't need music to dance.  She gets applause from random strangers downtown all the time.  Heh.

She was born for theatre

Seriously.

She picked up the neat headpiece from Amy, Emo's friend.  She has always had a thing for the sparkly, the feathery, and the over the top fancy.  Lately, she sings and dances all the time as if she were starring in her own musical.  

"All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players." ~Shakespeare

Pigs

AJ awoke this morning determined to paint pigs.  Why?  No idea but it was of utmost importance.

So I dragged out the colors she requested and the sharpie and the watercolor paper and she got to work.

First little piggie turned out great.  The second...well, let's just say that he's not quite right.

"This is a pig."

"This is a sick piggie.  Oh poor piggie."

AJ thought it important to point out that the piggie has purple dots because he has some sort of illness.  No mention of the 8 legs.

Budding Artist

AJ worked really hard on creating little paper dolls based on one of her books.  She had a little help with the circle portion of the head, the hands, the shoes, and the general gluing but everything else including the planning of how it would go together was all her. She originally wanted to cut out actual stars for the head but quickly found out that its kind of hard to do.  The circle with triangles was her solution.

The best part was when I told her I was impressed with her skills, she replied, "Oh Momma, don't you know that your little girl loves art."  heh.  Well actually I do, Miss AJ, I do.  

Proud little artist. 

Designing Dresses

AJ has been watching me sew clothing and toys for as long as she can remember.  The poor girl desperately wants to learn to sew and I want to teach her, but she's a bit short on patience and a wee ambitious at the moment.

She has found a loop-hole or so she thinks.  She'll design and I'll sew.  Yeah....

She wins

Phil bought a 12 pack of Session.  If you've ever had Session, you'll know that the bottle caps contain one of three possibilities: rock, paper, or scissors.  You pop the cap off and flip it to see which you got and per the usual rules of rock, paper, scissors, you determine the winner. I never drink because it just makes me tired and I have too much crap to do to mess around with being tired.  But we were camping so I figured a few beers would be okay.

Phil popped his cap and announced he had scissors.  I popped my cap and found I had paper.  Drat.  Phil reveled in his victory.  And then Aria came sauntering up and announced, "I have rock.  I win."  In her wee little hand was a rock she picked up from the campsite.  Well played little child, well played.

She wins.

On trees

Daddy got AJ a pocket knife as a gift before our camping trip this past weekend.  Admittedly, I was a wee nervous about handing my 5 year old a pocket knife but I also firmly believe that children are far more capable than we give them credit.  I remember whittling away at wood with a knife when I was a little girl.  Is it possible that she will cut herself?  Of course.  But its also possible for her to injure herself in a number of other ways just running around being a kid.  So pocket knife she has with a good dose of knife safety lessons and under the watchful eye of her parents.  *No, she is not allowed to tout her knife around.  Its for camping and its put up until the next trip.*

Anyhow, she was practicing how to use her pocketknife, whittling away at a stick.

AJ: Momma, see this nut?
Me: Knot?  The knot in the wood?
AJ: Yes, the nut in the wood.  I am scraping off the bark around it to get to the tree zap.
Me: What?  The tree sap?
AJ: Yes, the tree zap.
Me: Sap as in S-A-P.  Ssssssss...ap.
AJ: Yep. Tree ZAP.  I'm scraping off the nut to get to the tree zap.

Fine.  Heh.

Marshmallows

We went camping.  Camping = smores.  I busted out the marshmallows, Hersey chocolate bar, and graham crackers and asked AJ if she would like one.

AJ announced she'd like hers with just chocolate; no marshmallow.  Her reasoning?  She's trying to cut out marshmallow.  The funny thing is she has been saying this for a few months now and she really has been turning down all offers of marshmallows since then.  She did eventually have one on our camping trip, but just one.  Apparently marshmallow is serious stuff and needs to be rationed out carefully.

Photo opinions

Momma, that is TOO close!

Okay. Better.

Ethereal Bacon

I sort of lied.  This little vintage AJ-ism was too much of a gem to allow it to get swallowed up by the others.  Circa 2012 and oh so classic.

AJ: Everything I ate today tasted like pig.
Me: What? Everything tasted like pig? Why would everything taste like pig?
AJ: Yes, Pig. I have ghost pigs in my mouth.
Me: Ghost pigs?
AJ: Yes. Ghost pigs in armor.
Me: Do they at least taste good?
AJ: Oh yes. 

A collection of AJ-isms - 2009 and 2010

Admittedly, 2009 is a bit sparse.  For one, AJ was only 1 years old and I think I was still suffering pretty badly from severe lack of sleep.  Well...I still am but I wasn't used to it then.  So, this collection combines 2009 and 2010.  Enjoy.

The things we do
AJ went through a phase when she was about one years old where she loved tearing off little bits of toilet paper and then stuffing them up her nose.  Never in a million years did I think I would ever have to dig out little wads of tissue from someone's nostrils.

There is nothing wrong with my glasses

Let them eat cake
For lunch AJ had a sandwich, some pretzels with hummus, and a pickle. She removed the bread from her sandwich and stuck all the pretzels in it and declared, "happy cake!" She ate the pickle and hummus.

Little Birdie
AJ has been making bird calls...only we have no idea what she thinks she's mimicking. She puts her hand to her mouth and calls out "who WHO" but the inflection is wrong for an owl.  Plus she adamantly tells you its not an owl.

If you give an AJ a banana...
If AJ asks for a banana, you must give her a banana unpeeled. If its peeled, she won't eat it. If the banana breaks while she is peeling it, she won't eat it.  I never imagined eating bananas could be so stressful.

Obviously
I am drawing with AJ. She tells me to draw an acorn and an "A." Then she asks me to draw an "R", and then an "icky." I ask her, "What is an icky?"  She tells me, "Poop. Draw a poop, Momma."

Rabbits
I went to wake AJ up. She was feeling cuddly, so we snuggled up.
Me: You're Momma's special little girl.
AJ:  *Stops cuddling and stares at me hard.* I NOT little girl, I a rabbit.  A special rabbit.
I stand corrected.

Wishful Thinking
Me: Go find a book. Its bedtime.
AJ: I read. You go to bed.

A collection of AJ-isms - 2011

All My Fingers
Me: Do you know how old you are?
AJ: Oh yes, I'm 3.
Me: How many fingers is that?
AJ: I have all my fingers. Thank you.

Care Bear Stare
Me: AJ, its time for bed. Get some books so we can read a bedtime story.
*AJ sticks her stomach out and stares at me intently.*
AJ: Care Bear Stare!
Ahem...yeah, it didn't work. But she gets points for effort and cuteness.

Here There Be Ducks
AJ was walking around the house dropping raisins on the floor. I asked her to please stop.
Her reply: "But Mooooooom, I'm feeding the ducks!" Oi.

Baby Chickens
Me: AJ, soon you'll meet your baby cousin when Aunt Lisa has her baby.
AJ: Hmm...my baby is in Aunt Lisa's womb?
Me: Yes. But soon he'll be born and he'll be on the outside.
AJ: Yes. And when I was in your womb.......I was a baby chicken. 

Robot Butts
Me: AJ, you should go the bathroom and try to go potty.
AJ: (in a robotic, stilted voice) No. I am a robot and I do not want to go potty.
Me: Well, the robot should use the potty.
AJ: No. I am a robot and I have a glass butt.

Be Calm
AJ: Mom. I am going to do something and I need you to not freak out.
Me: What? What are you going to do?
AJ: Uhm...something. Be calm.

Pesky Witches
AJ: I'm not AJ, I'm Max.
Me: Oh No...what happened?
AJ: There was a witch and she was angry and she turned me into Max. Now there are two Maxes and no AN.

Christmas AJ-isms
AJ insisted on having five stockings for the wall this Christmas. We went shopping and AJ came home with two small stockings: one each for her imaginary friends: Loogu and Dega.

Some folks really get into Christmas decorating.  We do a pretty lazy job at it.  AJ likes to remedy this by adding a little each day. I kept finding fabric scraps draped over the Christmas tree like garland. Oh AJ...she is so busy while Mommy isn't watching.

Sock Hops and Ballet

AJ has been a little obsessed recently with ballet and has been talking about wanting to take ballet classes for two months now.  She practices twirls and little leaps with her arms raised over head as we're walking down the street. She spins about in the stores when we're waiting to check out.

Yesterday, her class was scheduled to have their little sock hop.  AJ is not particularly fond of school, so in the morning when I went to wake her up I mentioned the sock hop.

AJ: What is a sock hop?
Me: Its a dance.  It'll be fun.  Let's get dressed so you're not late to school.
AJ: Dance...*her eyes start to light up* Ohh...I can do ballet, I can do my ballet at the sock hop.
Me: *Knowing full well that sock hops are generally not for ballet* Oh, uhm...sure...you can do your ballet.

So AJ excitedly got dressed and practiced her ballet at every opportunity which earned her the applause of a random stranger passing us on the sidewalk.  I felt a little guilty knowing that sock hops aren't exactly about ballet but its also preschool so I knew they wouldn't care if all AJ did was spin and twirl and leap during Peggy Sue and Rock Around the Clock.

Of course, when I picked AJ up from school, she pulled me over to the laptop that continuously runs a video of the day's highlights for parents.  Sure enough there was AJ gracefully spinning and twirling and leaping about to some 50s song that I couldn't quite make out.  The rest of the kids were jumping and bopping around gleefully.

AJ: Uhm...I'm the ONLY one who is dancing.  The other kids are just jumping.  *She's giving me that look that is a mix of exasperation and disbelief.*
Me: Well...they look like they are having fun.  Did you have fun?
AJ: Yes.
Me: Oh goo... *AJ cuts me off*
AJ: Until I got bumped.  I got bumped, Mom.  I was doing ballet and I got bumped by the other children.

Thankfully, AJ didn't hold anything against me.  She was just a little indigent that nobody understood the seriousness of her ballet.

On Wasp Stings

We got a car about a month ago.  We've been without a car since well before Aria was born so we've been making up for lost time and having Sunday Family Adventures. Today's family adventure was in the Salmon Huckleberry Wilderness of the Mt. Hood National Forest.  It was gorgeous.  Lots of beautiful, lush old growth and by the looks of the overgrown trail, not as well traveled as you would think, given you can drive right up to the trail head.

I like to refer to these as Dr. Seuss trees.  Aria prefers "hairy trees."

Anyhow, the hike was pretty decent.  Not exceptionally tough but a steady incline which got me huffing and puffing. Unfortunately, a few miles into the hike, Aria started yelping in pain.  I figured she got stuck by a thorn but when I got closer I saw a wasp hanging off her calf.  The damn thing didn't want to disengage either and it took me tapping the thing a number of times before it finally flew off.  Phil made a poultice from some tobacco and then bandaged her leg up.  We asked if she wanted to head back but she insisted on continuing. She seemed okay so we decided that we would continue and keep a close eye on her for any signs of an allergic reaction.  She got pretty far before deciding that perhaps we should head back to the car.   

The poor lass sitting for a spell contemplating life's important questions, like why, oh why did the wasp sting me!?

On the way back to the car, Aria started off with a diatribe against wasps.  I do believe her words were, "I don't like those hateful things.  Momma, I can say that, you know.  Because its the only bad word that I know, and I know what it means and I am really mad at that wasp.  Can I say that word?" (I should note that "hateful" is actually not the only bad word that she knows. In fact, she knows quite a number of choice words, but I suppose I should be relieved that she couldn't remember them in the heat of the moment.  heh.)

And just so everyone knows, I assured her that yes, indeed, I was okay with her using that word as I felt it was most appropriate given the circumstances.

I suppose her anger dissipated rather quickly because not even a few yards down the trail, Aria started to express concern and worry about the damn wasp.

Aria: Momma, I feel bad for the wasp.
Me: What? Why?
Aria: Because I must have kicked it, maybe I stepped on its home.
Me: Well that is very sweet of you, but since you didn't do it on purpose, I think you shouldn't worry about it too much.
Aria: It was an accident but I can't tell the wasp that.  I wish I could say, 'hey wasp, I didn't mean to kick you.  I didn't do it on purpose.  Sorry, wasp.'
Me: ...okay...
Aria: That might help the wasp feel better.
Me: Uhm...Sure...right.

The good news is not even a wasp sting can keep Aria the explorer down for long.  Finding a creek rejuvenated her spirits.

~Cheers!~
Robin

Maps and the Force of Darkness

I picked up Aria from school yesterday and she excitedly showed me the map she had made at school.

So first, let me just say that we finally got a car and we took this fabulous family trip to Beacon Rock in Washington.  We had a blast and there was some talk about volcanoes and mountain climbing.  Aria was a little concerned that "Mountain Hood" or "Mountain St. Helens" would erupt and we had to repeatedly tell her that it was unlikely.

The view from Beacon Rock and my little hiker.  The elevation changes almost 800 feet in just a mile.  I was huffing and puffing it up the big rock but Aria didn't even seem phased by it.  Of course, I'm a wee bit out of shape but still.

So anyhow, I pick her up from school yesterday and she shows me this map.

Its a map to a pot of gold which is at the end of rainbow...of course.

The following conversation occurred.  True story.

Me: Wow. Is that the little splotch of yellow right there the gold?
Aria: Oh yeah...see, you can see the little rainbow.
Me: Yeah, yeah...I see that.  That's pretty cool.  What is the big black thing?
Aria: Oh oh, see that (pointing to the brown scribble on the left), that's the mud puddle.  Be careful, Mommy. And, and that (pointing to the tall red image next to the puddle) is a....VOLCANO!
Me: A volcano!?
Aria: Yes.  *whispering* Its Mountain St. Helens.
Me: Mt. St. Helens.
Aria: Mountain St. Helens.  And its ready to erupt.  Don't touch it.  Oh oh (pointing to the blue blob on the right) THIS is a lake...a nice, cool lake.
Me: Mmm...Uhm, what is the black thing?
Aria: That's the forces of darkness!
Me: The forces of darkness?
Aria:  Yes...Remember, Mr. Mallard?  He was turn-ed into a GOAT.  But I won't be turn-ed into a goat so do not worry.  But don't touch the gold, Mommy, because you might be turn-ed into a GOAT.

Ahhh...good times.  This map, Mr. Mallard, the forces of darkness...they are so brilliant.

*I should note that the little red splootch in the bottom left side of the forces of darkness is the "blood of animals" in case anybody is wondering.  Yeah...

Mr. Mallard

Aria has a small little rubber goat that she has named Mr. Mallard.  Mr. Mallard is a very special goat. He has four small children that he carried and birthed himself. 

The other day Aria was holding him and said in a shaky old goat voice, "80 years ago, I was a human until the forces of darkness turned me into a goat..."

See.  Mr. Mallard is a very special goat.  :)

When friendship goes sour

Aria: Mom?
Me: Yeah, Babes?
Aria: The zombies that live in your room.  They used to be my friends when I was a baby...and then they died.
Me: 0_o

Star Wars AJ-isms

AJ likes Star Wars just a little.

She insisted on being blind-folded to practice her lightsaber skills.

Just a touch distracting

So one day I was sitting on the bed trying to write my 3rd paper on quality improvement and behavioral health care. AJ was standing on the bed, naked, and swinging her lightsaber around. Apparently, Luke made some targets shaped like the Emperor and Darth Vader so AJ could practice using the force. By the way, a naked not quite 5 year old swinging around a light saber is a little distracting

Its for you, not me, I swear

As I carry her half asleep into the living room...

AJ: Mommy, you know Chewbacca...he's a different animal.

Me: A different animal from what?

AJ: (opens one eye) Well you know we could watch Star Wars so you could find out.

Favorite animal

AJ: That's my favorite animal. Giraffes, elephants...wookies.

Yep, those are my favorites.

Star Wars/Thomas Mash-up
According to AJ, Thomas the tank engine is very sad because Toby has gone to the Dark Side.

How much melon do you have?

A little gem from 2012.

AJ: I wonder how much melon I have?
Me: What? We don't have melon.
AJ: Yes we do!
Me: No we don't. We have some applesauce.
AJ: Not to EAT, the melon in my skin that helps it change colors.
Me: Wait. Are you taking about melanin? Because if you are, you don't have a lot, that's why your skin is so pale.
AJ: MAN. I wish I had a lot. My skin is boring. I wish it could change like a chameleon.

Pickle nightmare

A goodie from the past...

When Aria was 4, maybe 5, she woke up from a nightmare one night. Apparently the world was overrun by alien pickles that could turn people into pickles by touching them. She was telling me how she was saving a little girl from an alien pickle and then she mumbled something about vinegar baths. When I asked her what the heck the vinegar baths had to do with it all, she looked at me like I was silly and said, "Mom, that's how the alien pickles clean themselves." Then she drifted off to sleep murmuring, "I guess I'm the savior of the world."

A collection of AJ-isms: 2012

Okay, I'm attempting to cull my Facebook statuses for AJ-ism gems.  This is going to be an on-going process so I'm doing them in chunks.  First up, 2012.

I Love You, Too

AJ: Momma, you're so special to me. I hope you don't die ever...
unless I'm about to die.

Hmm... 0_o

Spelling Fun

AJ: Mom? How do you spell "Moooooo?!"

Me: Well...it starts with an "m"
AJ: No mom you mean "m"
Me: That's what I said. "m"
AJ: No "m" Mommy.
Me: I know. I didn't say "n" I said "mmmmmmmm"
AJ: No...Mom, it's "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"
Me: AJ. Just sound it out yourself.
*pause*
AJ: Mom? How do you spell "Moooooo?"
*head to hand + big sigh* 

Speaking Korean

AJ: op-ee-a-sey-o

Me: what?

AJ: It means open this please?
Me: In what language?
AJ: oh...Korean.
Me: I don't think that's right but Ju-sey-o means give me please.
AJ: No...that means "the juice is on sale."

Waking up Aria
AJ: Grooooowwwwwl.
Me: Oh dear, its a dinosaur. I hope she doesn't eat me.
AJ: (looks at me like I'm an idiot) I'm a Triceratops. I eat plants.

Make Them Smaller, Please

One day, Phil was helping AJ set up her Avatar on Xbox. There aren't a whole lot of options, but anyhow, he did the best he could. She requested purple lips and a heart on her cheek. After he was all done setting it up, AJ stared at it intently, looked down at her chest and said..."Hey, I don't have boobs! Can you make those smaller?"

It's an Acquired Taste  

AJ: Do people eat horse?
Me: Well...yes, in some countries but not here in the US. Why?
AJ: Because Dega just got me several boxes of sheep and horse.

"Wad" a lovely present

Looking at my sweet child's tangled mess of hair this morning, I'm reminded of an incident that happened a few weeks back.  So first, let me say that yes, we need to brush Aria's hair more often.  I am really bad at it because, to be honest, I never brush my hair. I run my fingers through my hair daily to get the tangles out but for years I didn't even own a brush.  

Anyhow, this particular week she was developing some pretty serious tangles in the back of her head.  I went to pick her up from school and she excitedly pulled me into her classroom to hand me a neatly packaged...wad of hair. 

Apparently, she pulled out one of her tangled dreads and decided that she should save it...because it's special.  I wish I had been there when she convinced her teachers to wrap the wad of hair all nice and pretty.  

Zombie Play

I asked Aria to grab something from mommy and daddy's room.

Aria: Noooo...its scary.
Me: What? Why?
Aria: Because Zombies come out when we're not in there and play.
Me: Oh. What do they play?
Aria: Tag and bite the monster.
Me: o_O

Well except for Fred the Dead.  Apparently he was born to be nice.  

Odd Human Tricks

You know, when Aria does stuff like this, I'm not sure if I should discipline or applaud her.  Seriously.  I mean, it takes some talent to eat with your feet. 

An invisible book of birds

Grandma Shellie somehow wound up with a birdbath.  When she told Aria that they were going to paint it, apparently Aria told her that according to her invisible book of birds they had to paint it pink and purple.  Why?  Because it would put a smile on their beaks.

The birdbath was painted pink and purple by one very satisfied little girl.

The Infamous Journal

Okay.  So the story goes like this.  One day, I went to pick up Aria from school.  She was at the playground so I busied myself packing up her stuff.  The lead teacher brought up Aria's journal.  Okay, she specifically told me that Aria has a flair for the macabre.

Alright.  Nothing too surprising.

Except that apparently, some of her stories had the other teacher a wee worried.  The lead teacher told me this while laughing, saying that the other teacher wanted to know if this was something that they should bring up with Aria's parents.

Anyhow, today at Aria's preschool graduation, we received the infamous journal.

Story 1: Feb. 5, 2013

This is apparently the carnage left over after I feasted on monsters. 

This is a story about a lot of monsters that come to my house.  They try to eat me.  My mommy protects me by eating the monsters.  She loves the meat of them.  One monster is still alive when Mommy ate it.  But the monster was magic and disappeared out! The monster disappeared away!

Story 2: Feb. 21, 2013

Meet ghost.  He likes to collect dead things and make art out of them.

This is a ghost. The ghost creeped into a creepy house.  The ghost found a skeleton that was dead and he grabbed it and he brought it home.  At home, he did art with it and he went to bed but he couldn't go to sleep so he went away.  And he found an old house and it was so creepy and he found a little, little spider that was dead.  And then he grabbed it and he brought it home and he did art with it.  And he shivered his hands.

So I think its important to mention she was recognized today for her great storytelling skills.

R-D-S

AJ likes to use Google image search.  Yes, its potentially dangerous.  I've had to click off of the browser quickly because of an unsavory photo or two before.  Heh.  But she enjoys it and it helps her with spelling. 

The other day she typed these three letters into the search engine: R-D-S.  

Hmm...okay.

Me: AJ, what is R-D-S?
AJ: Mom!  That's wrist!

Right.  Of course. Well...its close enough, eh.

Tree Wool

"Mom, LOOK!  It's tree wool!"  

Doppelganger

Aria put on her daddy's slippers.  And then her eyes lit up when she spotted one of his t-shirts.  

Aria: Mom, Mom, is this daddy's shirt?
Me: Uhm....yes. Why?
Aria: Because I have to put his clothes on and pretend to be him. When he gets out of the bathroom, he'll be all like, "woah, that's me."

She did it too.  Put his shirt, his hoodie, and slippers on and then waited patiently for him to leave the bathroom.  When he came out, she said in a deep voice, "Hello, my name is Phil!"

We all cracked up.  Good times.  Good times.  

Sharing

According to Aria's daddy, when he took her to the gas station she asked if she could buy candy with her allowance money.  She excitedly picked out a big bag of almond M&Ms and brought it to him.

Aria: Does this say sharing?
Daddy: Yes, why?
Aria: Good, because I'm going to share them with you.

Adorable.

~Robin

Macha Eggs

Bet you're wondering what Macha eggs are, eh?  Yeah, well they're the brown eggs.  Typically we buy white eggs; it is cheaper.  For some reason though I grabbed the brown eggs from the store.  AJ was amazed.  I tried to tell her that sometimes there are brown eggs, sometimes there are white eggs.  She stared at me.  She slowly shook her head.

AJ: Mom, those are Macha Eggs.
Me: What exactly is a Macha Egg?  You know...chickens...they just have brown eggs sometimes.
AJ: Well, yeah, Mom, of course.  The brown eggs are called Macha Eggs and they are from chickens.
Me: Okay, well then where do white eggs come from?
AJ: Oh those come from the eggplant.

Oh.  Well of course then.  That settles it.

2+2+2=3

The following is just a snapshot of AJ logic.

AJ: Mom, does 2 + 2 + 2 = 3?
Me: No, 2 + 2 + 2 = 6 because you have 3 pairs of twos.
AJ: No, it equals 3 because the other twos are silent. 
Me: What? O_o

The really odd thing is that it almost makes sense.  

Documenting Evidence

Children are weird.  No seriously...they are WEIRD.  My child is no exception.  Actually I think she takes weird and ups the ante.  She has about a million (okay, I exaggerate a tad) imaginary friends with very complex life histories and she just says the oddest things sometimes.  But I am having trouble keeping track of it all and think perhaps I should keep a blog about the little and often curious things that Aria says.  So here we are.  I don't really suppose anybody will follow this, although you are certainly welcome to.  The purpose is truly to document the evidence so it doesn't get lost in my head.

I figure the best way to start is to simply jump in.

When Aria was two, maybe two and a half, she told us that Dega and Looga had moved into our apartment.   Apparently, they were from outer space.  We learned about them when she told us that they had sliced her neck open with a knife.  o_O  Yes, we were concerned.  Its not everyday that you hear about violent aliens slicing necks with knifes out of the mouth of a sweet 2 year old.  But we would learn to live with them and Aria's wacky tales because 3 years later, they are still very much a part of our lives.  Sometimes they are super creepy and sometimes they are almost mundane.

The list of imaginary friends has grown.  Currently, in our tiny 2 bedroom apartment, Phil, Aria, and I live with Dega, Looga, Baby Bear, Baby Phil, Baby Seven, Fiano the Fairy, Aria the Mouse, and an assortment of their imaginary pets...such as Tootsie and Harry, two dogs that belong to Dega.  Its a very full house over here. Welcome to the wonderful, wacky world of Aria's head.  It should be a fun ride.

~Robin